Heart Break
by Elizabeth Catherine Snyder
Summary: Two song-fics from the R Season break up. One from each point of view, Mamoru and Usagi's. UM R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer  
I don't own Sailor Moon...a bunch of Japanese companies and people do. Second of all the song in this fic is called "From the Bottom of my Broken Heart" and it's by Britney Spears.   
Summary  
This is a one-shot song fic...it's based on the time in Sailor Moon R when Mamoru left Usagi because of those dreams. This takes that night, when she comes home.   
  
  
  
I crawled into my bed; I had locked Luna out of my room tonight. I pulled the covers onto me then threw them right off. I stared out my bedroom window restlessly and could feel the tears building in my eyes. I sighed as the moon shifted gradually, barely noticeable, in the dark night's sky and I lowered my gaze again. I closed my eyes sadly and started to hum this song I'd had in my head all day. I hummed the first verse and then started to sing the words out loud.  
  
*From the bottom of my broken heart* I chuckled out of pain and exasperation. That line was so true right now. Why did he break up with me? It's not that I can't handle being dumped but I thought he loved me...I knew I loved him.  
  
*There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know* I wrenched the covers over me again and held them close. I wish he'd let me at least ask him why. The hardest part is not knowing, I know it's not because he doesn't love me. There's something else, I can feel it.  
  
*You were my first love, you were my true love* Those tears in my eyes poured out from my heart silently as I laid my head on my pillow. He has to know I love him...I've never hidden it. How can you do this to someone you love?  
From the first kisses to the very last rose I shifted my eyes, wiping away the tears resting on my cheeks. I looked up at the moon, it was a waxing crescent moon that night. Things were so much easier then when I lived on the moon. Why'd it have to be destroyed? My watch fell back down to my windowsill where a thornless rose lay with the moonlight glowing delicately on the petals.  
  
*From the bottom of my broken heart* I got out of my bed and speechlessly walked over to the sill where the rose lay. I picked it up and held it to my chest as tears slid down my face. They paused on the corner of my mouth before they continued to drop and fell onto the floor. I opened my window and raised my arm to throw the rose out of it but lowered my arm and set the rose back on the windowsill where it belonged.  
  
*Even though time may find me somebody new* I closed my window and crawled back under the covers, holding them close. Then I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed quietly. Time may find me someone new but I don't want it to! I only want to be with you! It's just not fair to leave me.  
  
*You were my real love, I never knew love, 'til there was you* I lifted my head slowly and my weeping became subdued as I wiped my tears. I sat up and sighed as I pulled the stuffed bunny at the foot of my bed to me.  
  
*From the bottom of my broken heart* I crushed the bunny to my chest and fell back onto my pillow. New tears escaped and I pulled the covers over my head to hide my face. Then I put the bunny across my mouth and sobbed, trying to muffle my crying.   
  
*"Baby," I said, "Please stay."* I closed my eyes as I held the bunny close and continued to cry silently. I slowly stopped crying and flung the covers off again. I reached out and grasped the picture of Mamoru and I that was put in my favorite frame on my nightstand.  
  
*Give our love a chance for one more day* I fingered the frame, taking in the cold sensation of the metal. Then I touched the glass protecting the picture, taking time to feel the glass over his face gently. I felt a splash of water as a tear fell from my face to the glass. Just one more day, that's all we need. How can you turn your back on our love? It's lasted so long!  
  
*We could have worked things out* I wiped the water off the glass and bit my lip, closing my eyes, to keep myself from crying. You won't even try to work things out. What happened? I know you didn't just fall out of love. You take time to fall into love. You make sure its going to last and that you're truly in love. You wouldn't just give that up.  
  
*Taking time is what love's all about* I smiled sadly and placed the back on my nightstand fondly. We've taken so much time but you can't give up on love, especially after you've put so much time into it. I don't care how much you say you hate me, I won't give up on you.  
  
*But you put a dart, through my dreams, through my heart* I closed my eyes briefly and wrapped my arms around my body, holding myself. The tears fell again I didn't try to my stop my sobbing. It hurts so bad to be abandoned by the one you love. I'd do anything to have you back with me.  
  
*And I'm back where I started again* My singing got quieter and my head dropped onto my pillow once again as my crying stopped. You're back to the way you treated me before we loved each other. I miss you so much. I can feel you're hurting too. Why? You hate me now...right?   
  
*Never thought it would end* My singing was barely audible now and I closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep. I never thought you'd give up on us for no reason. That's what hurts, not knowing your reason...maybe I could make it better if you'd just tell me. 


	2. Tough Love

Disclaimer  
I don't own Sailor Moon...a bunch of Japanese companies and people do. I don't know all of the people who own it but know they do and I don't. Second of all the song in this fic is called "The Hardest Thing" and it's by 98 Degrees.   
Summary  
This is a one-shot song fic...it's based on the time when Mamoru left Usagi because of those dreams. It's from his point of view once he goes back to his apartment.   
Archive  
You can archive just please let me know first. I'd also like the link and of course credit.  
  
  
  
  
I jammed the key into the lock of my apartment and twisted it dejectedly. My door creaked open and I slowly walked in with my eyes to the floor. I shut the door behind me, throwing my keys onto the coffee table and fell into the couch. I clicked the 'power' button on my stereo remote and threw the remote beside me onto the couch.  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do I propped my elbows on my knees and leaned my head on my palms. You have no idea how hard it is. Do you know how much I'm hurting? I deserve it though for doing this to you  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you I closed my eyes and sighed then wiped my hand across my face before I started to cry. You know what it was like to see your face then? You looked so shattered.  
  
*It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie* I leaned my head back onto the couch, keeping my eyes closed. It's the worst lie I could ever tell. It's a horrible thing to do...I'm sorry. I don't want you to hurt, I hate myself. I am that insensitive jerk you thought I was.  
  
*To show no emotion when you start to cry* I took a deep breath as I felt hot tears on my face. I saw you there Usako. I know you sobbed in that phone booth. Do you know how much I wanted to hold you? Of course you don't, you think I hate you.  
  
*I can't let you see what you mean to me* I harshly wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand and opened my eyes. I glared at nothing in particular and crossed my arms over my chest angrily. Damnit! I'm such a jerk! I can't let you be near me, my love. You'll get hurt more then the pain you feel now.  
  
*We're not meant to be* I stood up and kicked the coffee table, sending it and my keys flying into my wall. The table crashed and splintered at the impact and my keys laid beneath the ruble. I wish we could be together so badly. I want to hold you, kiss you, so much.  
  
*It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do* I fell back into my couch and let the tears fall again. I hate this; I can't be without you. I can't stand seeing you hurt, seeing you cry. You shouldn't hurt; you care too much about others.  
  
*To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you* I propped my elbows on my knees again and hid my face in my hands. I took in short gasping breaths as I sobbed loudly. I had to force myself to walk away. I don't think I can keep myself from loving you if you try to get me to love you again. I know you'll try it and it'll break my heart and yours.  
  
*I know that we'll meet again, fate has a time and place* I sighed and slowly ceased crying but stayed in the same position. I left the tears to dry on my face and closed my eyes behind my hands. Maybe you'll be out of danger when we meet again. I only wish I could keep you safe now.  
  
*So you can get on with your life* I lowered my arms and raised my head as I stood. I walked past the stereo, turning it up as I walked into the bathroom. Please Usako, get on with your life. It'll make things easier for us both. Find someone else, forget me.  
  
*I've got to be cruel to be kind* I turned on the water and splashed some on my face. I wish I didn't have to do it this way. At least you'll live. I couldn't let anything happen to you. It hurts though, not to be with you, but at least you're alive.  
  
*Like Dr. Zhivago, all my love I'll be sending, and you'll never know* I shut the water off and stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I'll send you my love Usako; it'll be with you always. You'll never know how I feel though, you think I hate you.  
  
*'Cause there can be happy ending* I leaned forward and lightly hit my head against the mirror. Small tears fell down my cheeks. I'd do anything to make things turn out all right. Things just can't be happy for us my love. Don't try to get me back it'll hurt you if I give in. If we stay together it will just end with you getting hurt, please find someone else to love.  
  
The song's words faded from my mind, as I was lost in my thoughts. I don't want Usako to be in pain but there's no other way, this is the only way I can protect her. I heard the radio again as I started to walk out of the bathroom. "That was for all those guys who've left the girl they love." The DJ said as the intro of another song played.  
  
*I think I've already lost you*  
*I think you're already gone*  
*I think I'm finally scared now*  
*You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong*  
  
"Oh Usako." I sobbed and turned my stereo off as I walked to my couch. I lay across the couch and closed my eyes. I tossed and turned restlessly before I fell into a sleep and still had the same dream about Usako getting hurt. 


End file.
